The First Steps to Motoring Heaven

First cars are wonderful things. You can drive them like an absolute idiot, and rest completely assured that at some point everything will go wrong. Your typical first four-wheeled travelling companion will, under your ownership, be subjected to some of the most advanced torture on offer today. You can scratch it, you can boot it, and you can kerb it, and your car will save the payback to all this until the time is just right. Usually on the A14 at three in the morning. The first car then is in itself a motoring icon, if only for its “unpredictable” personality. Ask any petrol head in the world, and he will tell you everything about his first car. He can tell you, for instance, how many people can be crammed into the boot, how many times the seats have been flecked with vomit, and more often than not; how many members of the fairer sex have lost their innocence on the back seat. It seems only fair then, that we kick off this section with one of the best student cars money can buy. It’s a typical 1.2 litre Ford Fiesta. Although, I must admit I’m a little nervous about reviewing it; mostly because I like it a lot, but also because of one inescapable fact. It’s mine.

Now let’s get one thing straight here. Being a student means one thing, you are almost certainly going to be skint. Therefore we can chuck new Fiesta’s out the window, but here’s a secret. The technology in most Fiestas’ hasn’t changed much over the last few years. The floor plan is exactly the same, the engine is still the same, even the airbags are identical. A 2006 Fiesta is just as good as the 2008 model in every way. Essentially then, what would normally cost you £8500 new can now be picked up from as little as £5000. Websites like Autotrader are an absolute goldmine for students. It is really a case of today’s cars, for yesterday’s prices.

But let’s get back to the topic at hand. Whilst the 1.2 litre engine in the Fiesta can hardly be described as “phenomenal”, and whilst it certainly won’t compare to most mid-range Ferrari’s, it is still an impressive piece of engineering. Take the one in my car for example. It’s still the same 1.2 you’ll find in most modern Fiesta’s, and it’ll still get you from 0-60 in about 12 seconds. But unlike most others, it has mood swings. I’m being serious now, I think I may have the only menopausal motor in Britain. On some days, the engine’s fine, it works like a dream. And on those days you feel cocooned in a metal shell of perfection. On other days however, it is rather more obnoxious than your average younger sibling. It coughs into life, and, just when you think all is well, it coughs itself back into a coma. And that’s what I love most about first cars, nearly all of them have a distinct personality. Only they can give you that unique mixture of astonishment and delight when you drive. They’re not just “some cars”, they’re like your best mates.

Driving the Ford is however, a bit tricky. It is, in my opinion, rather like wrestling with a rampaging gorilla. You fight and fight with the car, all the way, just for those ten seconds of greatness when all is well. And in those ten seconds you are quite literally transformed from miserable sod...to driving god. Your Fiesta is capable of turning you into the automotive equivalent of Hercules. But only if it feels like it. The Fiesta should really come with a health warning. It can make you look as good and as handsome and as rich as James Bond; but it might kill you in the process

Now please don’t get me wrong. I love the Fiesta, I really do. I just feel that, for the money we’re forced to shed out for it, we could get a little bit more. The Fiesta is a great little car, and for getting you out and about there is no better alternative. Yes, there may be many more ways of getting from A to B. Yes, they are probably better for the environment in lots of interesting and I’m sure very important ways. But, and this is a promise, there are very few ways, of having as much fun in the process.