The Rise Of Big Brother

This week, the multi-million pound franchise known as Big Brother opened its gates to the nation, with a fresh new series and a reassuring new look. Millions of viewers tuned in for the live launch, with many more watching the action online. We watched as 16 new housemates entered what has become the most talked about house in Britain. But here's the thing. what the creators of Big Brother have acheived, is simply the best money making scheme in the world. They have found a way to get nearly all of us to watch what is basically 16 people, arguing. And thats no joke, they haven't been in there for 72 hours yet and already the tension inside that house is at breaking point, i'm just waiting for the first murder to take place. It is pointless, it is stupid, and yet...i like it.

You see, the formula that the show has of putting 16 of the most dysfunctional people in Britain in a box for 94 days is, to put it simply, phenominal. And even though i almost feel embarrased to watch the blazing arguments, i somehow cannot look away. Very secretly then, i love Big Brother, but only secretly. Because of i admit to anybody else that i tune in nightly to watch a load of twenty-somethings argue over who burnt the toast, they just might die laughing.

This, in a very round about way, leads me to introduce to you a very British car maker, a group of boys from yorkshire who spent much of their childhood fooling about in sheds. Say hello then, to TVR. And more specificaly, say hello to the remodelled, and remastered TVR Tuscan.

This all new 2008 model was taken back to the drawing board early in the year by TVR, and now returns with a jaw-dropping 380bhp. Now looking on the glamorous and playboy-esque TVR website you come cross a single line in the Tuscan specification that sets your soul on fire. it reads "6-cylinder inline alloy engine with 4 valves per cylinder and dry sump lubrication". Now i have no idea what an inline alloy engine is, or what dry-sump lubrication does, all i know is that i want it. I want it badly, and i want it now. TVR has made a car that excites us on a very primitive level, it gives us the two basic elements that we want from cars, agression and sex appeal. I'm not kidding, if you drive one of these things into any city, you will emerge from the other side having gotten half the population pregnant. The sleek curves and the subtle styling of this car make it unresistable.

But hold on, thjis is aTVR, otherwise known in every other language as "death on wheels". The ferocious engiine is so difficult to contain that it has to be limited to 380bhp. Oh it could go faster, but it would be like playing russian roulette with a fully automatic machine gun. This car is, in a word, insane. And to buy one you would have to be either a) very brave, or b) very stupid. But despite all that, despite all of the warning stickers and the hazard logos, i love this car. It excites me in such a way that i feel ten years old again. Because thats what we want, we want something that makes us quiver the moment we step inside, something that excites the primeval part of our brains. In short, what we want, is something that scares us.

So yes, i know that the Tuscan is "death on wheels", i know it is uneconomical, that it will break down every five miles, and yet, like Big Brother, i secretly adore it. That is why i am sure that, jusat as Big Brother will be, the new Tuscan will be just as big a success as the old one. And thats why, as soon as i possibly can; i'm going to buy one.