Dial 911 For Porsche

This week, like any other, the television has become alive with dramas, comedies, and the occassional stint of Jamie Oliver disembowling a pidgeon. But unlike previous years, the British are currently enjoying a set of drivel described as a "period drama". There's millions of them, all with pretty much the same storyline, old woman has epiphany of some sort, whilst younger daughter seduces rich lord that turns out to be brother, who dies as a result of a previously unmentioned illness, and who, before dying, kills someone. Its utter drivel, and completely pointless. Now you may be waiting for me to launch into a tyrannical rant about how they're all rubbish and how the producers should be hung by their testicles from the nearest lampost. But no, my point tonight, is that however many of these dramas the TV people make, they all, inevitably, turn out to be the same. This, rather conveniently then, leads me on to Porsche, whos design department, i have long since concluded, is the laziest in the entire world.

Now before you all wet your boxters - yes, i made a joke- hear me out. each year the great German car machine churns out yet another rear engined, torque mad sports hatchback, that they say has been retuned, remastered, and fitted with an all new shell, engine, and seatbelts. To the rest of the world however, what they will have actually have given us, is something that is about as useful as a Kia seed, ie, not very. I say this because my family own a Porsche, and so, by right, that entitles us to look through those magazines aimed exclusively at porsche owners. Oh how we sneer at the poor man reading "ford today", as we waltz to the cashier. And inside every such publication, is page upon page of adverts,new 911's, new boxters, new porsches by the barrelful. But heres the thing, i think that those zany Germans may just have invented cloning, because the new 911, the one to launched next year, is exactly the same as our one, nearly 9 years older.

Oh sure, they've added a satnav, and on that basis you could call it new, but to the driver, you might just have well slashed its tires and called it "unique". For the last time, it doesnt matter if a new model has ergonomic brakes, or ceramic seats, or even a diamond encrusted on board-loo, if it doesn't help in the actual buisness of driving, then its useless.

Now ive just called porsche out as one of the big boys, they can take the stick. But the truth is, that this isssue occurs right across the board. What we need is for a single developer to stand up and yell, yes, we have made something differemt, we have met the challenge, because i gurantee you, whoever says that, will be the richest person, in the entire universe...